Opposing Forces
Psychologically speaking, every person has two forces at work within him or her. One is
the “driving force”, which pushes him towards some actions, and the other is the
“restraining force”, which holds him back from others. Patience essentially harnesses the
driving force to push us towards good things, and the restraining force to hold us back
from actions that may be harmful to ourselves or others.
Some people have strong patience when it comes to doing what is good for them, but
their patience is weak with regard to restraint from harmful actions, so we may find that a
person has enough patience to perform acts of worship (Salâh, Sawm, Hajj) but has no
patience in controlling himself and refraining from following his whims and desires, and
in this way he may commit harâm deeds. Conversely, some people may have strong
patience in abstaining from forbidden deeds, but their patience in obeying
commandments and performing ‘ibâdah is too weak. Some people have no patience in
either case! And, needless to say, the best people are those who possess both types of
patience.
So, a man may have plenty of patience when it comes to standing all night in prayer, and
enduring whatever conditions of heat or cold may be prevalent, but have no patience at
all when it comes to lowering his gaze and refraining from looking at women. Another
may have no problem controlling his gaze, but he lacks the patience which would make
him enjoin the good and forbid the evil, and he is so weak and helpless that he cannot
strive against the kuffâr and mushrikûn. Most people will be lacking in patience in any
one case, and a few lack it in all cases.
Further definition of patience
A scholar said: “To have patience means that one’s common sense and religious motives
are stronger than one’s whims and desires.” It is natural for people to have an inclination
towards their desires, but common sense and the religious motive should limit that
inclination. The two forces are at war: sometimes reason and religion win, and sometimes
whims and desires prevail. The battlefield is the heart of man.
Patience has many other names, according to the situation. If patience consists of
restraining sexual desire, it is called honour, the opposite of which is adultery and
promiscuity. If it consists of controlling one’s stomach, it is called self-control, the
opposite of which is greed. It if consists of keeping quiet about that which is not fit to
disclose, it is called discretion, the opposite of which is disclosing secrets, lying, slander
or libel. If it consists of being content with what is sufficient for one’s needs, it is called
abstemiousness, the opposite of which is covetousness. If it consists of controlling one’s
anger, then it is called forbearance, the opposite of which is impulsiveness and hasty
reaction. If it consists of refraining from haste, then it called gracefulness and steadiness,
the opposite of which is to be hotheaded. If it consists of refraining from running away,
then it is called courage, the opposite of which is cowardice. If it consists of refraining
from taking revenge, then it is called forgiveness, the opposite of which is revenge. If it
consists of refraining from being stingy, then it is called generosity, the opposite of which
is miserliness. If it consists of refraining from being lazy and helpless, then it is called
dynamism and initiative. If it consists of refraining from blaming and accusing other
people, then it is called chivalry (muru’ah literally “manliness”).
Different names may be applied to patience in different situations, but all are covered by
the idea of patience. This shows that Islâm in its totality is based on patience.
Is it possible to obtain the quality of patience?
If a person does not naturally possess the characteristic of patience, he can attain this
characteristic by acting as if he does possess it, until it eventually becomes second nature.
This is what the Prophet (SAAS) has told us in the hadith: “Whoever tries to be patient,
then Allâh will help him to be patient.” A person can also strive to control sexual desire
and lower his gaze until these too become second nature. The same applies to all other
desirable characteristics such as steadiness, generosity and courage.